free to fall
At one point in time, you realized you were about to drown.
Maybe someone hurt you. Maybe you were left alone to the point of terror. Maybe you hit a wall and realized you had to do something, fast. Whatever it was, you saw a rope and you grabbed hold of it. You didn’t know where it was coming from or who had thrown it out, but it was better than nothing. It got your head above water.
But that rope turned out to be a trap.
When you grabbed hold of it, that rope was the only thing you had. Which made it your master. Soon you were at its mercy, and it became your very life. The thought of losing that rope was unbearable...but the thought of being bound to it forever was also becoming a bit horrifying. Would you ever be free from the rope?
After long enough, the rope had you. It was wrapped around your ankles, determining where you would go and what you would do. It was tangled across your chest and abdomen, like a stifling armor of fear. It became tight around your neck, preventing you from speaking freely or breathing deeply. That rope that saved you from drowning is a hangman’s noose.
What if you did the unthinkable and cut the rope? What if you got free? What if your heart spoke out loud, against the will of the rope that binds your very breath? What if you let yourself fall? Would you drown?
In the water, God is there. His hands are open and he’s ready to catch you. You can cut the rope because you are safe. He’ll set your feet on solid ground.
Because of his love for you in Christ Jesus, you are free to fall.
ropes
The point of the ropes: When we're in desperate situations, we reach for whatever happens to be nearby as a lifeline and we grab hold of it. But after a while, we become bound to that thing. It's getting us out of desperation, but only in exchange for our freedom. We owe it our lives, and that's exactly what it's claiming.
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Questions to consider:
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What have you grabbed ahold of in desperate times?
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Has this thing (an addiction, person, habit, or comfort) claimed your life?
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How do you feel bound to it?
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What is it stealing from you?
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Is it saving you anymore, or is it claiming from you more than you would like?
person
The point of the person: Safety feels good for a while. It feels like rest, relief, a chance to breathe and to stop fighting for your life. But rest means life, it means gaining the energy to get up and walk again. This person isn't resting; he's dying. He's lifeless and limp, and he's going nowhere because those ropes won't let him go.
Questions to consider:
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In what ways do you feel like you are lifeless or limp?
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In what areas do you long for rest?
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Can you still imagine yourself having energy? What would you spend your energy on if you had unlimited amounts of it?
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What aspects of your life (your relationships, sexuality, spirituality, finances, physical health, etc.) feel like this person, bound and hanging by ropes?
water
The point of the water: For the man in the painting, the water is terrifying. It's what he was drowning in. It's why he needed to grab hold of a rope. But now that the rope has grabbed hold of him, the water is a soft place to land. Water is life when there are hands to hold you up.
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Questions to consider:
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Take some time (maybe days) to identify the fear that you were drowning in. What chaos threatened to take your life? Tell someone the story of that chaos and fear.
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When we are forced to constantly avoid something, even if we're succeeding at avoiding it, we still aren't free until we don't feel afraid of it anymore. Do you feel yourself still trying to avoid at any cost the fear you escaped in that story? How is that avoidance affecting your energy, relationships, and other resources?
hands
The point of the hands: God commands the water (Psalm 104:6-13; 32:6-7; 46:1-3; 69:1-3; Luke 8:25). Where God is in control, water is life. He promises mercy to those who fall into his care. If you will cut the ropes, acknowledge your desperate need, and fall into him, he will catch you. He will not let you drown.
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Questions to consider:
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Do you have a sense of what "falling" could look like?
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Do you have another human you can share your chaos or fear with, and trust that God will speak to you and help you through them?
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Sometimes "falling" feels scary because it's going to be embarrassing or shameful. Talk to God about your shame and ask him to cover you.
"Falling" really comes down to this: you need love. You need to stop saving yourself and being saved by things that are killing you. Where can you find love? Not the toxic kind that will bind your neck and ankles but the real kind that fills and then frees. Ask God to show you where to go, who to talk to, or how to begin.
freedom
The point of falling is freedom: It may seem hard or even impossible for your to believe, but what God wants for you is FREEDOM. Humans were created not to be slaves, servants, or soldiers, but free sons and daughters of the living God. All he wants from us is that we would be images of his all-good and powerful dominion and his life-giving fruitful heart. The life you were made to live is important to God. Once you are cut free from the ties that bind your life and heart, and once you've fallen into his hands, he will safely carry you to shore and stand you upright to walk in freedom in the joy of his love and presence.
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You are free to fall. You are not obligated to stay bound.
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Once you fall, you will find freedom.